I'm pretty sure I would not make a great Mom for a girl. I was never really like most girls and really am not into the whole "girl thing" so to speak. Therefore, I think that is why God placed so many men in my life. I can understand a boy from the time they are small to the time they are grown and then some. I was closest to my father. My closest friends growing up were boys. My closest adult friends, however, has finally shifted towards females, though I find I prefer to be friends with their spouse at minimum, or I am not comfortable. Maybe it is because I am now a Mother of a boy and I KNOW without a doubt, how they think. I grew up with a brother VERY close in age. I grew up with Gene after I "left" home for college. I could go on. Then, there is the plight of Motherhood itself. A treasure and yet, some other strange things mixed in. Sometimes it mixes my brain up and nothing comes out of my mouth right. Sometimes it heals every wound and I can feel like Yoda himself. Strange job, this one is. Simply reading this blog should demonstrate what I mean:
Muddle-Mother Power Activate! (it's sort of like a Superpower, but winds up sucking the life out of you, instead, on those hair-ripping days! It is all relative and proportional, of course!). he he
I often think I have a name for a new blog - Mother Muddles or maybe, Muddle Mothers - By day, fighting germs, the school systems, pathogens, teaching life skills, and many, many more things/ by night, making attempts a frequent as possible to keep your man happy and your family in harmony!
There are nights before the lights go down, you slip off your robe to show your spouse your recent "night-gown" you've been waiting for the right night to pull out off it's hanger....and you gently slip into your side of the bed - it's OH So warm and inviting to be in bed and off your feet, your brain begins to slow from thinking beyond the multitude of those that want your 24/7 attention....you look over at the love of your life...you both exchange those bedtime-eyes (you know, the exchange that has been replaced by what was used to give each other the bedroom-eyes, on the nightly basis?)...and you reach to turn off the light after you've kissed your man before he gets one last look at you in your classier version of the sleep cloths you'd normally wear. The lights go out. Both of you hug up to one another...you kiss one another...then, "goodnight Baby" barely makes it out of both of your mouths before you each fall deeply asleep (that is, until the next day, where our early morning riser child will bring on new “I must get out all my toys and anything else up for grabs” fiasco occurs.) Thank God my boy is sweet to his Mother and is getting rather independent about putting his things back up!
We have a “rule” for Joey for Saturday and Sunday mornings, if you will get up on your own and play for a few minutes while one of us tries to get out of bed, have coffee, and then slam on the couch to be in the room with you until we wake up enough to actually play and do things together – you can get out any toys you want – and the “rule” where you put up what you were playing with before getting the next thing out – is suspended. This works like a charm. These toys then get picked up after the end of the weekend (with the exception of a few in the way)
I’ve learned a lot since the days of growing up around all boys in one town we lived in, as well as growing up with a slightly older brother, in addition to being committed to the same man for ~17 years: all boys are alike – their age has little to do with their basic needs.
The older they get, the more expensive their toys. Once they have one toy, they immediately think of the next thing they want. They need a woman with a big heart to cheer them on and explain how the world is. They need lots of hugs and praise when they do well. They need to KNOW when they have REALLY screwed up so they do not repeat said screw-up, but do not need to be told in a speech or by being yelled at – this upsets the male brain. They do not liked to be yelled at in anger or spoken rudely to, unless you want to expect this same behavior back from them. Let them enjoy playing WHATEVER THEY WANT for a decent amount of time to wind down when they have had it up to their ears with too much work/school. Always make sure a good snack is around. Always be around to give a hug or simply offer consolation/encouragement/kind words/hugs. When they are bored, give them something fun and new to do or take them to do something fun and new or tell them a funny story. Change their routine very little. Dress them nicely, cheer them on, criticize very little. Do not encourage bad behavior; even allow them to know you are “disappointed” in said behavior, but do not nag. My struggle: don’t over talk. Get straight too the point when making one. Ask questions, but do not ask 20 questions. Be specific. Sympathize with their response to the question, no matter what it is to get them to talk more. They are simple creatures that love organization, but not necessarily neatness. They need to know where all their THINGS are and if THINGS are moved, they must be in-serviced on such. Let them know where you stand on almost anything and what you expect from them. Tell them every morning and every night you love them, ‘no matter what’. Try to have a room just for them and their playtime. Respect their space so they will respect yours when you need it. Keep them close by and watch carefully if suddenly things get quiet and you know they aren’t occupied. This means they have either wondered off, fallen asleep, or are about to get into trouble! Give first and then you will get – no matter how long it takes before you see the receiving end!
Uhh (sigh) - another day for Muddling through Motherhood until tomorrow!
Suz!
